it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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