I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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