Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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