do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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