Are we in a gay sports bar?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
