i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
