You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
