after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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