The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
