i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
