Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
