I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
