I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
