Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
