shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
