He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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