yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
