Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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