She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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