M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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