Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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