The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
