I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
