Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
