I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
