I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
