with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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