tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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