Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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