Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
