...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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