all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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