I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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