Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
