My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
