i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
