yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm too high and old for this...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
