I have demons in me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
