It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
