What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
