Sponge bath it is.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
