My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
