Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
