I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
