I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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