Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
All the doctor said was why
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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