In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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