He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
