hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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