Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
