I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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