Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
