Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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