If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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