he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
