What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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