So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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