i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
