My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
