Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
