dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
