gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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